I just read this:
Do I Need To Warm Up My Car? I feel good. I won't warm up the car anymore. I'll just run it cold and dry as chapped lips in winter until metal scrapes against metal making sweet engine shavings of joy! Hurrah! Hurrah! Hurrah! I kid. I do feel good now that I know that everything that I have grown to believe about the world is now false. And I don't have to warm up for a minute anymore, just ten seconds? What about thirty seconds? That has to be good for the oil to run, right? Nevermind. I'll show myself out.