10 Commandments of Hypermiling

[Arragonis]

It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than it is for an Escalade owner to enter Hypermiler Heaven.

[Arragonis]

Blessed are the Metros, for they shall inherit the Freeway.

[Arragonis]

This is a goldmine, apologies if anything I have posted offends those of this faith - I intend only good things.

The Scangauge is my shepherd, I shall want an UG.
It makes me slow down in green pastures; it guides me in still winds.
It restores my tank average. It leads me in right paths for MPGs sake.
Even though I walk though the valley of the shadow of consumption, I fear no garages.
For it is with me; it's MPG and AVG - they comfort me.
You prepare saved money before me in the presence of doubters; you anoint me without oil; my tank remains half full.
Surely FE and efficiency that follow me all the miles of my drive, and I shall dwell in the house of the SG as long as the guarantee period.

"To fear the low MPG is the beginning of freedom."
(adapted from Ecclesiastes 1:14a)

[MetroMPG]

Originally Posted by Arragonis

Our Basjoos
Who art in Carolina
Hallowed be thy civic
Give us each day our daily FE
and forgive us our overtakes
for we ourselves shake our head at those who overtake us
And lead is not into the passing lane
For thine is the fuel log
The aero and the coasting
For at least 2-3 miles
Amen.

That takes the cake as the funniest thing I've read on EcoModder. Evar.

Thanks for the belly laugh!

[slowmover]

Yup, a touch of wit lends insight to both the old and the new.

[slowmover]

Originally Posted by Old Tele man

Well, HUMOR *is* the best medicine (after whiskey), I hear.

...hey, Mr. Editor:

.............IS -- "And lead is not into the passing lane"
SHOULD BE -- "And lead us not into the passing lane"

Whaa, you doan r'conise a whisky schluur when ya hears one?

[Sven7]

I drafted up an abridged version. I'm kind of rusty though so it's not perfect! Hope you all enjoy.

(Yes, hand done with a fountain pen)

[Diesel_Dave]

Well done, my friend!