[Big Dave]

I accidently came across a copy of the local paper where I had been interviewed about how to improve MPG. This was from May 2008 when gas prices were near their peak. Like most people who get asked such things, I gave them the old clichés about air up, slow down, tune-up, yadda, yadda, yadda. As Kevin Kostner in “Bull Durham” told the rookie: “Cliches are your friend.”

Fast forward to this spring. I buy a 1996 Impala SS (I always wanted one of those) as a driver while I get more aggressive on the pickup. A bit of work tracking down the usual used-car gremlins and trying to baseline the car in case I get the urge to ecomod it. It is a great driving car.

But the critter seems immune to the old chestnuts. I can hypermile my brains out or drive it like Tony Stewart (a very aggressive NASCAR driver for you non-US guys) and regardless I can throw about 1.5 MPG over the whole range. I’m running 60 psi in the tires (20% over the sidewall max). No joy. The car coasts well. But regardless, it gets 20 MPG plus or minus 0.75 MPG. The car is 35% lighter than the pickup but gets 30% LESS MPG.

If this were a truck, I’d say it is overgeared. MPG insensitivity to other measures is a classic symptom of overgeared trucks, but this car has 3.08 gears – pretty long-legged by today’s standards.

I think the big factors are the gas engine and the automatic transmission. The LT-1 runs nearly completely throttled and inefficiently and the torque converter is built for a high-powered engine and feels “loose” to me.

But, when you think about it, this is the vast majority configuration – gas engine and automatic transmission. Like it or not, this configuration is very resistant to the old chestnuts. So when we spouted the clichés, people tried them and got no results and they figure we are full of the brown & smelly stuff.

So, when (not if) the price of gas & diesel goes up again I am gonna change my tune. I’ll tell them:

1. No clichés. I presume you are smart enough to properly maintain your car.
2. If you drive less than 7,000 miles a year, don’t worry about it. Any meaningful action will cost more than it is worth.
3. If you drive enough that it hurts, trade in your Sequoia (euphemism for any SUV)for a Prius (euphemism for any high-MPG car). Take the trade-in beating and enjoy the good MPG.
4. If the price of fuel hurts enough but you really need a Sequoia or Tundra, you’ll have to become a form of hot-rodder to live with it. You’ll come to see the basjoos-mobile or Phil’s T-100 as beautiful, you’ll do an engine and transmission change to a diesel with a stick and you’ll change you gearing and put those Goodrich Long Trail TA’s (low RR 16 tires) on the vehicle.
5. Don’t waste your money on snake-oil solutions like acetone, two-stroke oil, or Brown’s gas.
6. Small modifications general get small results.