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Old 06-22-2017, 07:11 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Not my intent either.

The Abrahamic religions have always had a troubled relationship with the female psyche.

If you get anything from Jordan Peterson on relationships or religion I'd like to know. I like him for what he says on veterans with Posttraumatic stress disorder.

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Old 06-22-2017, 08:09 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by freebeard View Post
The Abrahamic religions have always had a troubled relationship with the female psyche.
The female psycho has a little trouble with almost everything.
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Old 06-24-2017, 08:05 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Thanks everyone for the prayers and support. Both Thursday and Friday we spent time together going shopping, talking, watching a movie and having supper together. I think a large part of her problem is that I'm disabled and she works a full time job. I know what it's like to work full time I did it myself for years usually working 50-70 hours per week. Since I'm disabled she thinks I have all this free time to just do as I want, but that's not the case. I have chronic back pain and she knows it, but she doesn't understand that I hurt 24 hours a day 7 days a week 365 days a year. Yes, there are days that I feel pretty good and get a few things done around the house but there are also many days that I don't even feel like getting outside the house. If my lower back isn't hurting then my upper back is if neither of those are bothering me it's usually either my neck or legs which are also affected by my injury. I also suspect that some of the people she works with feed her a bunch of crap like "if my husband were home all day he'd better have supper ready when I get home". I do occasionally cook supper and try to at least once a week either grill or go to a restaurant and buy our meal to give her a break from cooking. What I really think happened is she made some type comment to someone then they started playing the devil's advocate telling her I didn't care anything about her or didn't love her and they kind of brain washed her into believing it. I'm the type person who will tell anyone exactly what I think of their actions or what they say to me, but she's more the go along to get along type and is sometimes easily persuaded in a different direction than what she knows she should be going. As far as the possibility of an affair I'm over 99% sure that's not the issue. She doesn't drive and has been riding to work with her female supervisor or female co-worker. We live about 15 minutes from where she works and nearly every day she was home within 20 minutes of quitting time. After she got home, in all but the very rare occasion if she went anywhere I was taking her or my son and his wife were taking her. With her not driving meant she couldn't say I'm going to the grocery and be gone for 1-2 hours without me knowing where she was because I'm the one who takes her to do the grocery shopping or at least 98% of the other places she goes plus most nights we were home together. Ever since we've been married we've lived either in a small town in NC or KY. Both towns are small enough that if anything had been going on behind my back someone would have seen it and spilled the beans. I've also talked to her previous supervisor that left a few years back and she said that if there was one thing she was sure of it was that my wife loved me and only me. I prayed that God would not only soften her heart toward me but if there were things that I was doing that creating part of the problem he would also change my heart to be more loving and supportive. Regardless of what anyone says I know prayer works and God doesn't just put us out here and leave us alone in times of need.
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Old 06-24-2017, 08:29 PM   #14 (permalink)
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God helps them whut help theyselves.

It sounds like you've got a shot. Did you look at the Jordan Peterson material on relationships? It's something you could do together and talk about.

After reading that the first time, I'd have sworn there was something about a wheelchair, but I can't find it now. Are you ambulatory? Because I was going to suggest one of those power massagers you can get for your car seat.

https://www.google.com/search?q=mass...car+seat+cover

I've had similar back problems to yours. What worked for me when I had the floor space was floor exercise

https://www.google.com/search?q=spin...floor+exercise

Now my floor is like 2x20ft. My parents swore by their Teeter decompression Table.

Maybe he'd like you better if you weren't in pain all the time. Could you get behind that?
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Old 06-25-2017, 10:00 AM   #15 (permalink)
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I'm not in a wheelchair. I've got one of the vibratory/heated seat covers in the car that I usually drive on longer distances but not in the other cars because most of my trips around home are 20 or less miles. I've tried physical therapy several times through out the years since I hurt my back and it always makes it worse instead of better. The only physical exercise that seems to help any at all is if I'm careful and stretch the muscles through the hip area, but if I overdo those the next day I'm so sore I can barely stand it. I haven't watched the videos yet but will try to get the change soon. At this point I think we've both agreed to going to Christian based marriage counseling.
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Old 06-25-2017, 11:59 AM   #16 (permalink)
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Family Life, a Christian organization (along with a Christian radio program called "Family Life Today"), offers a program called "Weekend to Remember" that is not very expensive. It is a 2 1/2 day marriage conference. It is worth looking into.

Obviously, I am not affiliated with Family Life - except that I have listened to their radio program for over a decade and my wife (I've remarried) and I attended the conference.

My advice -- DO NOT go to someone who is merely a Christian lay-person counselor. What you are dealing with is not only a Bible study. I STRONGLY SUGGEST that you select a counselor who is both a clinical physiologist and a Christian.

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Old 06-25-2017, 05:02 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Marriage counselor/Christian/physiologist is a set that probably includes faith healers.

https://jordanbpeterson.com/

I think this guy is a genius who fights the good fight against identity politics, post-modernism and communism; while also going deep in the weeds on Christian theology. But my Christian friends don't give a single care about theology, so YMMV.

I suspect what he gives freely is more helpful than someone else's not very expensive 2 1/2 day conference.
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Old 07-01-2017, 04:38 PM   #18 (permalink)
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Any updates?
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Old 07-01-2017, 07:06 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Sure

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Old 07-03-2017, 02:33 AM   #20 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ford Man View Post
I prayed that God would not only soften her heart toward me but if there were things that I was doing that creating part of the problem he would also change my heart to be more loving and supportive. Regardless of what anyone says I know prayer works and God doesn't just put us out here and leave us alone in times of need.
Hey Ford Man, sorry it took so long for me to see your request. I will pray that God will bring healing and restoration and love back to your marriage. That He will use this to bring both of you closer to Him. I think you are wise to seek marriage counselling from a qualified marriage counselor who is a believer.
Sorry that you have had to face some negativity along with the support, but that is to be expected on a secular forum I guess. They don't understand because they don't know Him. But I think you know we have a loving Father who understands our weaknesses and comforts us in our pain. He will hold you close and carry you though this. He is our hope and we have confidence that He hears and answers when we call to Him for help because he has promised. Sometimes, though, the road to healing is still painful and difficult, don't lose heart. I've had a pretty traumatic day as well so I guess my words are for myself as well as you. God bless

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