Prayer Request
 

I haven't been on the forum for a long time but I need help.

I'm requesting that anyone of faith and trust in God to pray for my family. My wife walked out 1 week ago without letting me know she was leaving or giving any explanation of where she was going or why. We've had troubles in the past but the last 3 years had been the best 3 years of our marriage. She won't talk to me and friends have tried to get her to talk to them but nothing seems to be working. She needs a touch from God to soften her heart about whatever the problem is so we can begin talking and trying to work out whatever the problem is and can get our family back together. Thanks in advance for all your prayers. I know God can and will answer prayer if we pray hard enough and have faith. We've been married for 27 years and just when it was the best it's ever been she leaves.

My hopes are with you and your family resolving this issue. Be encouraged that from the outside it looks like you and family and friends have communication good enough to bring the issue out into the light for a resolution. I don't pray in the way your are requesting, so I cannot do that, but my best wishes and what encouragement I can offer--almost a complete stranger--are with you and yours. Your patience and openness and friends and family are probably the best tools and pathways through with a solution will emerge.

Hmm, Doax, I may need you to change my name again to ECO-AKJ, I didn't realize there was already a Ford Man

"Ford Man", I can't imagine what you are going through, but you are in my prayer

Thanks everyone for the support and prayers. Don't just make praying about this a one time thing. I ask that every time you pray or you think about my situation you will take the time to say a few word to God on behalf of my family. It's rough, but with lots of praying to God for strength and asking him not only help my wife change, but also things I need to change in order to get us back on track and make our marriage more successful. I also welcome you telling friends and family about my circumstances and asking them to pray for us too.

I really hate being 'that guy' but... Prayer is a way to think you are helping without having to do anything.

Here is your power of prayer: The Global Consciousness Project. The [un]conciousness of millions can move a needle on a random number generator. You are asking a small number of people to influence a chain of events to steer it in your direction. Ecomodder doesn't have the reach, try... (I can't believe I'm saying this) try Facespook.

If it were terminal illness you might get more sympathy. When it happened to me (three years total) I went in and sat on the bed and lit a joint and listened to Freddy Fender sing "Wasted Days and Wasted Nights".

Here's my best suggestion: as I used to tell my son "Nobody else can make you happy, only you can make you happy." If you look for validation, they will stab you in the back every time (I know, I know...). Look inside yourself 'cause that's where Jesus is. Maybe you can find something in Jordan Peterson

https://www.youtube.com/user/JordanPetersonVideos

Playlists

• The Psychological Significance of the Biblical Stories
• 2017-14 Personality and its Transformations
• 2015 Maps of Meaning (University of Toronto)
• Popular uploads
• Psychology and Religion: 13 30-min lectures: TVO's Maps of Meaning

Edit:
Here's a 20-minute excerpt:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9VM1UA0pCMQ

Maybe it's time to worry about yourself and just move on. You can spend the rest of your life trying to make someone else happy, but if doing so makes you miserable in the process, then it's a pointless venture. Any spouse who just walks out for no reason, isn't much of a person to begin with. Sorry bud, just trying to maybe help you open your eyes a bit so you can plan for a better future.

I'm very sorry to hear that Ford Man. You and your wife will absolutely be in my prayers. I had something very similar happen to myself about 5 years ago. I knew we had issues, but I thought we were working on them and that things were even going quite well. Then one night she said she was leaving. It was crushing. So, I can definitely relate.

If I can give any advise it is to take this time to focus on your relationship with God. You can only change yourself, you can't make her change. But, you can make her want what you have. If you're a reader, "Keep Your Love On" by Danny Silk is an amazing book that teaches you how to love, even when you don't feel like it.

Thanks for the prayers, my wife finally called me today and we spent a good while on the phone with one another discussing things that were bothering her that I wasn't aware of. She's not committed to coming back yet but I think now if I'll leave her a little bit of space and time to think everything will be worked out. Just because I say these things don't stop praying, lift our problems up to the Lord every chance you get. Anyone who says prayer doesn't work doesn't know the God that I know.

Ford Man - I just said a prayer for God's healing.

I was in a somewhat similar situation several years ago. After a lot of mysterious back and forth and secretive/strange behavior on her part, it turned out my then-wife was having an affair. She was the Director of Contemporary Praise Music at our Church and the Choir Director was her affair partner. This was her 2nd affair. I felt like a fool, because some of the behavior of her first affair was repeated, and I didn't see it (maybe because I didn't want to).

After the first affair, I gave her a leap of faith. I decided to trust her again, regardless. And everyone (me and my children -- everyone except my then-wife) did all the things needed to heal. And then she did it a second time several years later. After the 2nd time - I filed for divorce. I had Biblical grounds to divorce her (and even to remarry) after the 1st affair, but I did not want another man raising my three children.

After the second time, I was done.

That may not be what you want to hear. However, my experience tells me that women rarely just up and leave. From what I have read, women (unlike men) develop a secret escape plan and then wait until a later time implement it, once they have put all the pieces in place. That may not apply here, I don't know.

In my case, I found something she'd written to her affair partner. They had actually planned to make it look as if they each "decided they couldn't take it any longer, and had to leave - and just happened to run into one another's arms and fall in love". Seriously. The mind of the narcissist is all about how things are going to make them look.

Here is all you can do: Be the best and Godliest man you can be. Given each choice you have to make, always choose the best one (realizing there is a huge difference between being nice and being good). So, always choose good; the one that edifies God. More times than not, this means intentionally doing (or not doing) something other than what "feels right" or seems justified. Trusting your emotions and feelings is very frequently a mistake. Go with what you know to be true.

Here is what you cannot do: You cannot control or manipulate the situation. Because God gave us free will, we cannot control the actions of others.

I would also like to offer that prayers can be answered in ways we do not expect. Mine were answered in ways that I could not imagine, and I am all the better for it.

I am sorry for what you are going through. I hope my comments above don't seem unfair or too doomsday-like, that is not my intention.

Not my intent either.

The Abrahamic religions have always had a troubled relationship with the female psyche.

If you get anything from Jordan Peterson on relationships or religion I'd like to know. I like him for what he says on veterans with Posttraumatic stress disorder.

The female psycho has a little trouble with almost everything. :p

Thanks everyone for the prayers and support. Both Thursday and Friday we spent time together going shopping, talking, watching a movie and having supper together. I think a large part of her problem is that I'm disabled and she works a full time job. I know what it's like to work full time I did it myself for years usually working 50-70 hours per week. Since I'm disabled she thinks I have all this free time to just do as I want, but that's not the case. I have chronic back pain and she knows it, but she doesn't understand that I hurt 24 hours a day 7 days a week 365 days a year. Yes, there are days that I feel pretty good and get a few things done around the house but there are also many days that I don't even feel like getting outside the house. If my lower back isn't hurting then my upper back is if neither of those are bothering me it's usually either my neck or legs which are also affected by my injury. I also suspect that some of the people she works with feed her a bunch of crap like "if my husband were home all day he'd better have supper ready when I get home". I do occasionally cook supper and try to at least once a week either grill or go to a restaurant and buy our meal to give her a break from cooking. What I really think happened is she made some type comment to someone then they started playing the devil's advocate telling her I didn't care anything about her or didn't love her and they kind of brain washed her into believing it. I'm the type person who will tell anyone exactly what I think of their actions or what they say to me, but she's more the go along to get along type and is sometimes easily persuaded in a different direction than what she knows she should be going. As far as the possibility of an affair I'm over 99% sure that's not the issue. She doesn't drive and has been riding to work with her female supervisor or female co-worker. We live about 15 minutes from where she works and nearly every day she was home within 20 minutes of quitting time. After she got home, in all but the very rare occasion if she went anywhere I was taking her or my son and his wife were taking her. With her not driving meant she couldn't say I'm going to the grocery and be gone for 1-2 hours without me knowing where she was because I'm the one who takes her to do the grocery shopping or at least 98% of the other places she goes plus most nights we were home together. Ever since we've been married we've lived either in a small town in NC or KY. Both towns are small enough that if anything had been going on behind my back someone would have seen it and spilled the beans. I've also talked to her previous supervisor that left a few years back and she said that if there was one thing she was sure of it was that my wife loved me and only me. I prayed that God would not only soften her heart toward me but if there were things that I was doing that creating part of the problem he would also change my heart to be more loving and supportive. Regardless of what anyone says I know prayer works and God doesn't just put us out here and leave us alone in times of need.

God helps them whut help theyselves.

It sounds like you've got a shot. Did you look at the Jordan Peterson material on relationships? It's something you could do together and talk about.

After reading that the first time, I'd have sworn there was something about a wheelchair, but I can't find it now. Are you ambulatory? Because I was going to suggest one of those power massagers you can get for your car seat.

https://www.google.com/search?q=mass...car+seat+cover

I've had similar back problems to yours. What worked for me when I had the floor space was floor exercise

https://www.google.com/search?q=spin...floor+exercise

Now my floor is like 2x20ft. My parents swore by their Teeter decompression Table.

Maybe he'd like you better if you weren't in pain all the time. Could you get behind that? :)

I'm not in a wheelchair. I've got one of the vibratory/heated seat covers in the car that I usually drive on longer distances but not in the other cars because most of my trips around home are 20 or less miles. I've tried physical therapy several times through out the years since I hurt my back and it always makes it worse instead of better. The only physical exercise that seems to help any at all is if I'm careful and stretch the muscles through the hip area, but if I overdo those the next day I'm so sore I can barely stand it. I haven't watched the videos yet but will try to get the change soon. At this point I think we've both agreed to going to Christian based marriage counseling.

Family Life, a Christian organization (along with a Christian radio program called "Family Life Today"), offers a program called "Weekend to Remember" that is not very expensive. It is a 2 1/2 day marriage conference. It is worth looking into.

Obviously, I am not affiliated with Family Life - except that I have listened to their radio program for over a decade and my wife (I've remarried) and I attended the conference.

My advice -- DO NOT go to someone who is merely a Christian lay-person counselor. What you are dealing with is not only a Bible study. I STRONGLY SUGGEST that you select a counselor who is both a clinical physiologist and a Christian.

Marriage counselor/Christian/physiologist is a set that probably includes faith healers.

https://jordanbpeterson.com/

I think this guy is a genius who fights the good fight against identity politics, post-modernism and communism; while also going deep in the weeds on Christian theology. But my Christian friends don't give a single care about theology, so YMMV.

I suspect what he gives freely is more helpful than someone else's not very expensive 2 1/2 day conference.

Any updates?

Sure

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JE5hXeJNRV4

Hey Ford Man, sorry it took so long for me to see your request. I will pray that God will bring healing and restoration and love back to your marriage. That He will use this to bring both of you closer to Him. I think you are wise to seek marriage counselling from a qualified marriage counselor who is a believer.
Sorry that you have had to face some negativity along with the support, but that is to be expected on a secular forum I guess. They don't understand because they don't know Him. But I think you know we have a loving Father who understands our weaknesses and comforts us in our pain. He will hold you close and carry you though this. He is our hope and we have confidence that He hears and answers when we call to Him for help because he has promised. Sometimes, though, the road to healing is still painful and difficult, don't lose heart. I've had a pretty traumatic day as well so I guess my words are for myself as well as you. God bless

Precisely why I recommended Jordan Peterson

That's presumptive. The respondent who claims to 'know Him' had his wife leave him twice.

I'm not a believer, but I can viscerally feel your pain from past experiences. All the best to you and your lady. That kind of pain hurts all day, every day, and drags on you as a person.

Im going to send all my best wishes to you. I hope she can be more honest towards you in the future, otherwise it won't work. Relationships depend on that honesty.

I hope everything is going to be alright, my thoughts and prayers are with you, my friend!

Hi Freebeard - I am not sure if that was intended to apply to me, but - just in case and without any defensiveness - my wife left only after I told her to leave.

She had two affairs (at least those are the ones I know of), but those were her moral failures and her violations of God's laws - not mine.

If anything, her actions made my faith stronger.

Thanks for not claiming victimhood.

Please understand that I am a 'secularist' who is trying to help others with the hard work of maintaining their relationships and strengthening their faith. :confused:

Also, all lies in jest.