Would you use a $29 oil extractor?
 

I removed the oil pan from my Accord, made a big mess, and wondered if there was an affordable way to extract it so that it wouldn't have made as much of a mess.

Maybe, for $29: 12V 60W Oil Change Pump Extractor

The video where I found the extractor: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qIOPSBPkeWs&t=37s Google recommends skipping the first 37 seconds and stopping after about a minute, but the actual part with him using the extractor goes until 2:20. Of course, JR has a video using a commercial one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ef1sCWGkKvw When he pulled the drain plug only a drop of oil came out, so that sounds pretty good! :)

However, I don't know how much oil it extracted from the filter.

Has anyone pulled vacuum on a filter? :)

Why am I not cleaning the driveway?!

Got to go! :D

I put down cardboard, then I burn the cardboard.

Yup, cardboard is free after you pay.

I also spilled excessively sliding the cookie sheet with the drain pan on it and transferring the used oil into old jugs.

I can't cut wood straight and I can't handle dirty oil without spilling.

I don't seem to be able to work harder, so it is time to work harder.

You can DIY one with tube, a rigid container and some way of sucking.

Harbor Freight sells a vacuum designed for evacuating AC lines for $16.

12 v coffee pumps for keurigs replacements are cheap like $5 last I bought one, but $29 isn't worth your time to engineer a homebuilt. I have five(?) Drain containers I got for free from the recycle places, couple that hold 5 gallons for under the F250, have high sides and are big enough to not spill during the skinny drip part with a 20mph gust and you seal it shut so no transferring containers.

I use the big oil sucker where I work.
It's tragically slow.
I pull the drain plug let title drain out into the catch pan of the big green oil sucker like the one in the video. Then use the oil sucker to store and transport the oil out to the oil collection point.

So, this would be a little sucker?

A leech?

DIY an oil leach with a 2L soda bottle, tubing, and a shop vac!
 

In Chris Notap's second video he says to put the catch container inside the shop vac.

You make a funnel from the top of the bottle, cut a hole just big enough for the tubing, which you feed through, stick the soda funnel where the vacuum hose goes, run the tubing into your waste container, feed the other end into whatever fluid you need to change except for gasoline, and you turn on the shop vac! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uk46vCOGTFI