[Christ]

I just happened across this on CL tonite while veggin' out watching TV. It's funny.


1994 Geo metro - Windshield cracked. Door hinges missing on drivers side - door falls off when handle pulled and must be "placed" back on to close. Passenger side door will not open at all, probably for humanitarian reasons. Muffler fell off, now in back seat but you wont notice the noise because the shame will be deafening. Car would overheat if engine would stay running long enough but mercifully, it will not. Steering wheel loose and missing mounting nut. Front right brake rotor damaged when wheel fell off while driving. Many dents(several from my foot), scrapes, rust and holes here and there. Radio has "William Shatner Christmas carols" cassette tape stuck in deck, enjoy. Radio catches on fire at random. Minor smoke damage from radio and other misc. electrical fires though not on headliner as it caught fire as well and was thrown from vehicle. Front bumper fell off (I left it). Brakes squeak,wheels squeak, wipers squeak, everything squeaks and/or is broken. Headlights blink on and off, turn signals do not. Drivers seat mounting rails broken off in back, brick under seat. "New car smell" has given way to "old rat decomp". Stains on upholstery are primarily not urine related. Engine has original horsepower (both) and few of the critical parts have fallen totally off. Rust holes in floorboards covered with tattered garbage bags and duck tape scoop up exhaust fumes from missing muffler. Car will not make it, must tow (preferably on a trailer with a solid deck and sides to avoid leaving a trail of parts behind as they fall off during your trip). thanks