[Christ]

I got a great aunt in TN... she makes excellent sweet potato pie. If you can get to her where you're stranded, she'll likely get you some help. :P

Do you coast w/ the engine off or on? Have you checked to make sure your carbs are properly synched, and you're running a bit lean on your cruise circuits? Do you have a trunk and bags? Aero modding is a great place to work on bikes... Specifically the rear, try to taper the airflow back into a closed section, with a short fish tail.