[Christ]

No, sir. You're wrong. If you view a teardrop shape as half of itself mirrored, you will see that there is a change in pressure at the front, widest point, and tail. That means that any cross section of the tear drop shape does in fact create lift, but all sections acting together counteract the other sections.

The widest point of the teardrop shape represents the highest pressure area *not including the nose*, which, according to Bernoulli, represents the slowest moving area of the flow around the object. As the flow follows the profile of the shape back to a static point, it accelerates, so the pressure on the object lessens as the taper increases, allowing the previously compressed flow to re-expand to atmospheric conditions.

That being the case, the teardrop shape would create lift at every tangent of it's widest point. Simple fluid dynamics.