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You know it's cold when those weather reports from Maine look pretty nice. Of course, the humidity is worse there. Also, when you don't dare touch a door knob with a bare hand, because the snow squeaks in soprano. And when you have lots of time to knock the snow off your shoes before it starts to melt, the frost on your beard reaches your ears, and you have chunks of ice falling off your moustache after ten minutes indoors. I know it has been cold when air that does not sting feels great.
A friend went winter camping with the militia, and said he was woken up by the Kiki bird. It goes "Ki-Ki-Ki-rist it's cold!"
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