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I wouldne be so hard on yourself.
The fact that you gained at all in this colder then average winter is showing that you are doing something. I have lost 1-2mpg+ on EVERY vehicle I drive (2 for work and our personal 2 cars) due to winter fuel and winter related factors. A lot more stations are also selling Ethanol enriched fuels and they do get worse MPG.
In the winter a car is running a much richer fuel curve when cold and it runs in "Open Loop" longer. Open loop is where it is not adjusting fuel mixture with the O2 sensor just a fuel map related to engine temperature, outside air temp and throttle. The oils are heavier due to the cold as well.
Most engine oils are designed to be at 200f operating temp. Gear oils in the diffs and manual transmission around 100-140f. Auto trans around 180f. It takes a LOT longer in the winter to achieve those temps where the engine and running gear is at its peak efficiency. Even synthetics will have some of the same problems.
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