Look for a diagram on the relay body. There will usually be two pins attached to a coil (an electromagnet), and one "input" and one or two "outputs". When no current flows through the electromagnet, the "input" is not connected to anything. When current is flowing through the electromagnet, the input gets connected to the output.
In the case of a relay that has two outputs, one will be connected to the input when there is no current flowing through the electromagnet, and the other will be connected to the input when there is current flowing through the coil of the magnet.
You can run +12V to one "coil" pin and ground to the other, then use an ohmmeter to see if the input is connected to the output. And then remove the +12V and check to see that it isn't connected.
You can also jumper around the relay by connecting the input directly to the output with a piece of wire. Only for testing purposes, please!!
No spark and no fuel sounds a lot like the ECU for the engine management is not getting any power. Can you check to see that the wires that power it have +12V when the key is on? Could also be something failing to tell the engine management that the engine is trying to run.
-soD
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