YKYAEI
1. A site engineer at your place of work has crashed his van, the wreck is in the space next to yours and you start making plans to buy it and do some aero mods.
2. You discuss car plans with your wife (who has an estate (aka station wagon) car with roof bars) and before the discussion turns to you taking over her car and trading in yours instead of the agreed route of changing both, you have already planned how to get the roof bars off. And you struggle for hours with how to block off the holes.
3. You discuss MPG with your sometimes naked over the road 80 year old neighbour's husband who happens to have just traded in an Audi A6 TDi auto for a Honda Civic Hybrid - and is seeing worse MPG... Grrrrr, damn you Honda and your 'pot' plants on the dash.
4. You curse Autotrader.co.uk for not having an MPG setting or for allowing muppets to list a Petrol BMW X-5 in the hybrid section without being electrocuted.
5. You show the international 'you are a wanker' sign to a BMW X5 - from behind instead of in front X-5s are not fast. But then again anyone who drives an X5 (or X1-6) is automatically a wanker so this has little value.
6. You spot other Fabia VRS owners with roof racks and it hurts to see them move because of the FE. They wonder why you don't wave back.
7. A Saxo VTR beats you in a race
and the driver wonders why you smile.
8. You start to like Caravans - not because you "like" them totally, that would just be peverse and stupid - they should be burned in the style of Top Gear. But they give you an excuse for 50 mph.
9. You have an ebay search for Diesel Citroen BX (non turbo) set up to email every day.
10. And you seriously consider this
1.5 Diesel, weighs less than my sponge...