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Old 09-04-2010, 12:21 PM   #23 (permalink)
The PRC.
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Elsewhere.
Posts: 5,304
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Welcome to Scotland...

...home of the brave, or at least the most foolhardy of drivers. Some of the observations from my decade of being here.

1. On entering a motorway or any 2 lane road, you MUST DIVE INTO THE OUTSIDE LANE STRAIGHT AWAY OR YOU WILL JUST DIE OF THE SHAME.

2. Its perfectly fine to turn right on a roundabout from the left hand lane without indicating.

3. Speed limit is a target. Not a limit.

4. Riding the outside bumper of any vehicle in front as close as possible will immediately make them speed up or get out of your way. It happens all the time.

5. Traffic lights don't apply to bicycles.

6. Hazard flashers mean free parking anywhere.

7. Mobile phones help you drive because you can ignore everything going on and concentrate on your conversation.

8. But if you must stop to use the phone, why not just use one of those convenient places where buses stop. They don't mind, they like the company.

9. Take the racing line everywhere. Remember, you are The Stig.

10. When taking kids to school it is proper to park as close as possible to the door. After all there are pedos everywhere. In fact just drive on in and park the Range Rover in the classroom just to be extra safe.

11. Being fat, lazy and usually orange (you get that tan from being in Scotland ?) is a disability, so use those special spaces.

12. It is your job to control the speed of others by sitting in the outside lane. They will thank you for it with many friendly waves and gestures.

13. Its best just to maintain your road speed in a car park.

14. If driving a convertible make sure everyone can appreciate your musical tastes. Hmmm Micheal Buble - fantastic!

15. If you encounter unexpected ice on the road, it is advised to just hit your brakes as hard as possible.

16. The Fast and The Furious is a documentary.

17. Sat Navs are made to be adjusted when you are driving.

18. ABS means you are invincible.

19. You can only refuel on the side where the cap is. Those signs saying 'fill up on both sides' don't mean you.

20. When travelling on a 2-lane road remember to keep close behind the car in front otherwise someone from behind will just push in. Remember though that you are unable to overtake.

Honestly it is a strange place. This is the only place in the world where you will see people standing at a bus stop (because they don't have a car) carrying a set of Golf clubs worth more than 2K GBP.
[I]So long and thanks for all the fish.[/I]
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