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Yeah, a tall offroader will deliver horrid mileage on-road, and its short wheelbase and high center of mass make it a poor choice for towing.
If you only need to tow 1000lbs, get a Prius. Lots of compact hatchbacks and station wagons can handle 2000lbs. For truly massive loads, 5speed5 pointed out that the '96 Caprice can do 5000lbs, and I bet the Crown Victoria is in a similar category.
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