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Since you are idling at lights I have a suggestion for you:
Add a microswitch to your accelerator pedal that closes when the pedal has not moved from its rest position. You can put that in line with your #3 option to charge the battery. This way you get charging every time that you are off the pedal, both decelerating and while idling at lights. It might give your battery that extra charge that will help it keep up to your draw and while your engine is idling its doing nothing towards productivity for the fuel used, at least now it could charge the battery and the load will be pretty negligible.
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