Welcome to Ecomodder, Pfznik! I think you will find most of us here are pretty easy going and tolerant of 'creative thinking'.
Your goals are very close to what I had in mind, as well.
As for determining the load in the hitch, I was thinking of piezoelectric load cells between the ball of the tow vehicle and the tounge of the trailer.
Unfortunately for me, it's just a mental exercise at this point, but I would love to hear your ideas and any experiments you may perform!