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I would focus on doing mods that will help her mileage no matter how she drives, like pumping up the tires and aeromods. Then you can save gas/money and she can drive how she wants.
Sounds like I'm pretty lucky that my wife is semi-interested in getting good mileage. In the Prius, I would say she could come within a few MPGs on me in most situations. She thinks of it as a game, but sometimes she just doesn't care.
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