[davelobi]

A few thoughts popped in my head while reading (most) of this thread.

I think the word you guys wanted for the shifter stops is "detents".

Towing a vehicle in neutral isn't bad for the trans, the trans fluid getting hot is. Tow the vehicle in neutral with the engine running, circulating & cooling trans fluid, all you want.

To the OP, I wouldn't personally do anything but drive easy (no neutral stuff) on the Chrysler a604 trans in that minivan (assuming v6 as most were). They were a marginal trans at best and there is lots and lots of dead ones in the bone yards. Just treat it nice.

The benefit of coasting while leaving it in gear is DFCO. It is a good way to save some gas and up your mpg. Deceleration fuel cut off, ie injectors off as in zero fuel. Neutral coasting is still using fuel. Search on it here. Often better than neutral (auto or stick shift) coasting for gas mileage.