I have nearly the same situation as the OP. Due to wife's requirements, I came up with what I thought was a decent compromise: (bio)diesel Suburban.
I tried to get her to agree to a diesel crew cab pickup, but she said she would be too scared to drive it.
Others have shared this same thought on diesel people haulers. There's a reason semis and dump trucks are all diesels. The more weight you haul, the more sense it makes to go diesel.
Still waiting for that factory diesel Sienna...