For the record:
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The head bolts will often make terrible noises, and won't turn smoothly, making creaking or cracking noises. You must follow the correct sequence to undo the head bolts. A big breaker bar is your friend here.
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99 Forester SOHC Head Gasket Repair Experience - Page 3 - Subaru Forester Owners Forum
So, when I went to pull the cylinder head, it sounded like I did everything horribly wrong, so I got terribly distracted trying to figure out everything. Allegedly, I just needed to keep wrenching. I could have finished the head gasket replacement by now!