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If I had time to kill and a Tesla, I'd have parked 3" from his rear bumper and plugged in.
Is the charge port on the drivers side? I can't see any reason for parking this way. The only cars that would pull up beside him would be other Teslas, with owners just as paranoid about protecting their $100k treasure.
I've found the key to avoiding damage is to always drive a crappier car than those around me.
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