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When I was pretty young (but not as young as your child) my dad got a 2000 Lexus RX300 which uses the same v6 engine as the Highlander. It didn't do any better on gas than what you're describing. But you should take those tires up to whatever the sidewall max says, they probably say 44, the rest of the suspension, the sound deadening, and the cushy seats should be more than enough to keep the NVH down.
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