Wow, I didn't expect Google to have relevant results for "Mexican owned body shop," but it sure did! Just not in my area and the top result for Phoenix was a place called "A Cheap Body Shop" There was no mention of Mexicans!
I think the best course of action would have been Jerry Seinfeld's from when a valet stunk up his car. Here is part of it, but not the part that I wanted (and some random stuff, which isn't necessarily appropriate):
The valet stank up the car, he took it to a car wash, they said they never had a car smell so badly, and they didn't seem to be able to make it any better. In that clip he convinces the restaurant manager to climb inside, which in turn convinces the manager to agree to pay Jerry to have the car treated. I am sure there were more shenanigans, but in the end Jerry drove to a shady part of town, parked in front of some shady-looking guys, made eye contact, and while still looking at them and walking away, threw his keys into the car.
All that I needed to do was find some druggie and had them steal the car!
Where does one find a druggie?! How would my insurance covering a stolen car be better than my insurance covering a scrape?
Curses! Foiled again!
People say that I should have gotten rental insurance. The problem is that I have rented dozens of times without a problem. Ten dollars a day, maybe thirteen with tax, multiplied by all of the times that I rented...
The thing is, if I pay extra for rental insurance I am in this situation: