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It is sad that I would rather have a helper than a meaningful relationship, but do you really want me to list all of the things that I need to fix?!
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I'd settle for either one. I had a son thinking I'd have a helper. It lasted until he was about six.
And I'd use the heavy bottom mounting slide inverted on the top instead of the side slide.
.....have you clicked the lenny-face link? ヽ(⩾ ͜ʖ⩽)ﾉ