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The Russian rockets at least looked sleek, but a gently accelerating rocket is like a broomstick balanced on a finger. It needs vectored thrust. The very first liquid fuelled rocket tried using pendulum stability, with the motor at the top, and it went badly off course.
A rocket starts off with great sound and fury at exactly zero efficiency, and the first stage never gets to 10%. If it were my job, I'd stack jumbo jets vertically, joined by elevator cables, and snatch the other stages from a fast truck.
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There is no excuse for a land vehicle to weigh more than its average payload.
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