I just want to amend that instead of not buying a Subaru way back when I would move the Focus I bought from Dad into the driveway until someone came home.
- The neighbor wouldn't go through my windshield, injuring him and totaling both vehicles.
- I wouldn't buy a Subaru which cost me something like $10,000 with dealership fees, the useless service plan, excessive repairs and gas consumption.
- I wouldn't lend it to my then-girlfriend, wouldn't take it back, and she wouldn't buy a Can-Am with a credit card leading to her death.
She made poor decisions and very well may have died another way.
I did far too much to try to help her and she continued making poor decisions and died.
If I saved the Focus I never would have had a car I didn't feel I could park at home, she wouldn't have driven to see me, and she wouldn't have felt pressed to buy a vehicle immediately.
The thing is, not loaning her a car and putting her on my insurance would have been healthier for both of us.
Speaking of trying to keep self-absorbed people alive: Dad.
He had been having medical problems and Mom said that he called his doctor and tried to get help.
He took over-the-counter medications, which did little to no good.
He went to some meeting, which I believe was in Cibecue.
I had clients there for a bit.
I pity anyone living there.
It is an hour from Show Low, but closer to Mesa.
My sister used her inheritance to take her family on vacation.
I used mine to pay off debt.
While they partied, I studied the blade.
Wait, no, I watched her dogs.
I would have had her mother-in-law cover the dogs, meet Dad when he was leaving Cibecue, and convinced him to go straight to a hospital in Mesa.
Instead he went home, felt worse, called an ambulance, and no doctor looked at him. In the morning the surgeon came in, the staff said "You need to look at this man's chart!" the doctor said "We need to perform surgery immediately!" they told Mom that Dad was out of surgery and stable, and right then we lost him.
I sure hope the hospital in Mesa would have actually kept him alive, but if not, I mastered time and space.
I did the impossible and failed.
He would be gone, but I wouldn't wish that I could have done something.
The thing is, he had tried to persuade me to move in in 2014 and wanted to teach me to do what he did for a living.
However, he wasn't making a living doing it.
He could have made great money working for white people, but he insisted on working for Native Americans, and always said "I have a job, but they can't pay me!"
That is unemployment with extra steps.
Maybe I could have had a better career, I just don't know if it would have been as rewarding.
I love kids!
However, being constantly underemployed makes the job satisfaction when I do have work bittersweet.
The other complication is that Dad was a difficult man.
We worried about Mom's health before we lost Dad, but it is possible that the long-term stress from dealing with Dad would have been harder on Mom than losing Dad.
It is possible that I could save Dad and lose Mom.