Someone in a singles' group on Facebook asked about making small talk and I responded that women get angry when I ask how they are doing, if they have any fun plans for the weekend, how their weekend went, etc., and one of the few women that I have met in-person since coming home from Germany 11 years ago indicated that I am boring.
They want exciting conversation!
I think she just wanted a free expensive dinner. I met her around 2015, asked her to dinner, and she suggested a restaurant near her.
The bill was $80 before the tip.
Eighty dollars was a lot for a guy in college!
She told me to call her and I did, a couple of times, but I never heard back.
Then in September of 2021 she posted
Quote:
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Hello everyone! I am desperate! I have a medical procedure on Wednesday 12/8 and my ride just cancelled on me. I've asked so many people and nobody can/will help. I live in central Phoenix and need to be at Banner Gilbert at 10:30, then picked up around 2:00. It has to be the same person who drives me both ways. Is anyone available?
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Nobody volunteered, so I asked if she still needed a ride.
I would need to take a day off work--or two--and drive 7 hours on top of at least half an hour each way with her, but I was willing, basically for a stranger.
Fortunately, she found a ride.
Apparently after she told me that I am boring she added "You have dozens of women telling you [see more]
I didn't see more.
I rarely read more than the top 3 comments and often one or two are the same.
Additional comments are also usually the same.
I have a bunch of unread messages on WhatsApp. I haven't tried catching up on those in a bit. I just scrolled through older conversations in English trying to find an example and this was my entire conversation with one lady:
"Hey, it's me Maureen, from [app]"
"Hello Maureen, thank you very much for reaching out! �� How are you doing?"
"Am gud. Where are you from?"
"I have lived in Arizona for most of my life."
"Okay. Gud. I am from Nigeria, but working in India."
"How do you like India?"
"Not that much, there is too much racism."
"Sorry! How was your week?"
"Fine."
[later]
Me: "How is everything going?"
"Gud. It has been a while."
"What is new?"
It has been 6 weeks. I don't think she is responding.
Should I reach out again to the Nigerian in India?
I recently matched with a woman in Phoenix.
"How are you doing?"
"Hello."
What is the correct response when the other person doesn't answer your question?
This was a dang foreigner in another nation:
"How is your weekend going?"
"Hi."
This dang foreigner in another nation wrote first:
"Hi."
"How are you doing?"
"Am fine and you?"
"I am all right, thanks. How was your weekend?"
"Fine."
"Did you do anything fun?"
"What kind of fun?"
Not knowing how to follow up, the next day I asked "How is your week going?"
"It is going well. Where are you?"
It is in my profile. "I live in Arizona."
"Okay. I am in Nigeria."
"Do you have any fun weekend plans?"
"Yeah."
Not knowing how to follow up, I responded "Cool."
The next day she asked "How are you?"
"I am all right, thanks. How are you?"
"Cool."
That always seems odd. I replied "How was your week?"
She never replied.
I never claimed anything about my conversational skills, but I almost always try to follow up, although if she ignores three messages in a row I stop trying.
If a woman tells me that she doesn't have weekend plans (and invariably she lives far away) I ask what she would do if she could and rarely receive a significant response.
I am not finding any of the endless one-sided conversations where their first question is often "Why so many questions?"
"How are you doing?"
"Good."
"How is your day going?"
"Good."
"Do you have anything interesting going on this week?"
"No."
"How do you like [app]?"
"Fine."
"What do you like most about yourself?"
Hold on. I recently asked a lady this. She replied "The fact tht am beautiful."
This was the rest of that conversation:
"Hello Felicia. This is Xist from [app]. How are you doing?"
"Okay thanks and u Xist."
Arguably she asked a question, she just didn't use a question mark or write out "You," she just wrote "and u."
I replied "I am all right, thanks. How was your day?"
"It was ok thanks."
"How do you like [app]?"
"Not too much, I haven't found anyone interesting."
"Sorry about that."
"Thanks."
"What do you do for fun?"
"I watch movies."
"What do you like most about yourself?"
There isn't anything exciting about my conversational skills, but I rarely find anyone who just asks "What about you?"
So, the woman who had me take her to an expensive restaurant, told me to call, and ignored me until I asked if she still needed a ride to the hospital several years later said dozens of women told me they wanted deeper conversation, but I didn't want to listen.
How can I get deep conversation if I cannot find women who will answer basic questions?
By the way, when I searched WhatsApp for that conversation it suggested the 28-year-old in Tucson.
Thirty now?
This was most of her profile picture:
So, he engages in deep conversation?