as far as resetting the ECU, usually pulling the battery for a few mintues will do that. there is a process on the Kseries engines to have it relearn idle, which it learns on constantly, and yes your car learns your driving a little and adapts. this will clear all that.
as far as the RPMS go, I find that anything under 3,000 doesnt really matter on mine, and most people find similar, mine is a bit larger and K architecture, but my old D16z6 was the same way. my dad constantly got 40mpg from that only with ecodriving (this was back a decade or more ago too) like coasting everywhere, using engine power as little as possible, accelerating smoothly but not lugging, he'd even key off when he was reasonably close to a parking space.
but look into hondata Kpro, for the best of both worlds out of your honda, it WILL take away the learning ability, but it will open the door to almost infinate engine adjustability. cam angle, cam selection (big or little lobe, vtec but not just one changeover I think), ignition timing, cam timing, fuel injection. (it also will control turbo boost, nitrous oxide flow, and all the specific settings that will make the engine run best at each point with those.)
the crappy part is that it takes a lot of tweaking and testing (it will run a test while driving and record all the sensors to tell what the engine is doing). its the ultimate tweakers tweaker. for my car it runs about $1000 and you need to use a laptop with it in the car to make changes or record testing
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