So upon further inspection, I have an ungodly-huge wiper-motor-box on the inside of the hatch glass. As you may be able to tell, I have no wiper. Ergo, no wiper motor to occupy said huge box. Perfect place for a 3rd brake light, don't you think?
So, a quick run to the auto parts store was in order. Moments later I was in posession of a 4" long LED trailer light. It's just a "marker light" but all the 3rd brake light does is turn on and off. Believe it or not, a trailer marker light has that amazing level of functionality.
I also got some LED replacement lamps for my other two brake lights, because they were shiny and pretty looking.
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