Here's an update!
I desoldered tonight tinned all my jumper wires before de soldering...
I soldered all 6 ( I already had the contrast on ) wires on the back of the atemga, I labeled them and my contrast (the one I had on there already ) broke off, so I thought great - good thing I tinned an extra wire, I'll just have to replace it..
I looked a little closer and found out I had put my contrast jumper wire on the little ring for pad 4, not 3....
I was PISSED. So - I was SOO sure that I found my problem I DE soldered all the jumper wires I had soldered and labeled on the back of the board.. I had yet to solder the other side to the LCD..
So, after taking out all my jumper wires - I re soldered the LCD to the board - put a new jumper wire on the head 3 pin and soldered it onto the top side pad 3.
SO.. Now I have a display.... YEAH... BUT... It's the top line of all blocks..
I re flashed the sketch - no change... - I did find out I could adjust the contrast and the brightness - but the solid top row of blocks is what I'm adjusting with the contrast...
somebody shoot me..