Alone again, naturally.
 

So, I am thirty-four, and still unmarried. Sometimes people give me the benefit of the doubt and ask "Still haven't found the right one?" Honestly, it is within the realm of possibility that I was not the "right one." I have seen and tried to learn from different trends, but I just had a new experience.

A girl whose career was more important than I was.

I really liked her.

...just remember the old fisherman's metaphor: "...there are LOTs more fish in the sea..."

Better to be unmarried, than married and unhappy. I could only speculate on "advice" but I think it's universal to suggest meeting new people, you never know who the next person you meet will be :)

(That said, watch out for serial killers-you never know who the next person you meet will be :/ )

I hope you find what you're looking for, sir.

Pets are better- far more forgiving and reliable.

Didn't get married until I was 3 weeks shy of 39, to a gal who was my next door neighbor when we were both teenagers. She looked like (and still does) Anette Funicello's sister. Sadly Anette is having aa rough time.

I have no children of my own. Didn't think the world had much longer to exist when you watch Kruschev on TV saying "We will bury you".

Not even sure how I would go about finding a partner today. Younger brother got divorced when she insisted he "get religion". He got a six pack, she got gone.

Look at it like this. In the span of 120 years the life expectancy in the US has gone from 42 to close to 80. You have a lot of time left to find someone, just don't push it or you could end up in worse shape.

regards
Mech

Thanks, guys.

I have done a lot of Internet dating over the years and I am not sure that I have done worse there than with girls that I met in-person, but this girl was the first one that I met in-person in years.

When I was coming home from Germany, I kept telling myself that I was not going to do any more on-line dating, I wanted to meet everyone in person.

That would be great, but I do not necessarily have much in common with my nineteen year-old classmates, and I always felt that I needed to study more, so I really did not go out.

The thing is, years ago I dated a girl that was an engineer. We had the best nerd conversations! However, she was the only one that I have dated that I actually felt had a career. Everyone else goes from one job to another, whatever they can find.

The largest free dating site is called Plenty of Fish. There are lots of weirdos on there! :D

Two of my friends who got into horrible marriages 15-20 years ago finally wound up getting hitched this summer to good people. They didn't find the right matches by trying too hard, but by being willing to settle for staying single rather than make colossal mistakes again. It took years, but it worked out well for them.

Got married at 40. Became a dad at 43.
I'm happy, but I'm also happy having had a lot of time on my hands to do things I like before this all. I now measure free time in minutes.

If you have a job and want to keep on spending hours per day on modding your car or any hobby at all, better stay clear of the other sex. :)

You'v got plenty of time. I had a girlfriend who is literally worth a million dollars, DD cups & a 25" waist, charming & pleasant, who didn't marry until she was 70. The guy she married is in her age range, and it was his first marriage, too.

I'm with ya Xist. My mother, father, and older sister have a combined 11 divorces between them. After age 9, I grew up without parents, literally. Nearly everyone in my hometown had children by age 20.

Now, I'm 28, I've been with a girl from my high school class for over 3 not-great-but-definitely-not-miserable years, and neither of us have children or any intention of getting married. How my father deserted me and my sister made me realize that unless I'm fully ready, capable, and willing to be a father, I cannot and should not risk repeating his mistakes to any offspring of my own.

To each their own, honestly. Everyone has their own path, their own decisions to make along that path, their own rewards and/or consequences of those decisions. If you're thinking that perhaps you yourself are "not the right one", that only means that you're unique as hell and it'll take someone truly special to make you want to settle. In no way is that a bad thing!

That's mucho CHEAPER too. :mad:

Getting in a rush to find a marriage is not exactly a wise choice. Well, nowadays a marriage contract doesn't seem to mean anything anymore.

Yes, I have tried explaining those to married women several times...

I guess that I am a "Grass is Greener" type of guy.

I would really rather not be!

Dude, you have 19 year old classmates and you are not taking advantage of that!? You don't have to be some creepy 'old guy', just enjoy the experience and make sure they do too.

There is no "one" for anyone. There are many potential life partners, each will have good and bad attributes and each will be a different experience. No partnership is perfect and even a good partnership has its ups and downs.

Keep looking.

I have a friend in his early 50s. Wife left him for a guy she met on the internet in some other country about 8 years ago. I listened for years about how he was going to be alone for ever, then he stopped worrying about it quite as much (he still kept a line in the water and an eye out) Anyway, I stood up for him at a lovely little ceremony a few months back. Yea they are both older, they both "settled" but I think things are pretty happy with their choice.

Also I would have to echo about taking advantage of connections made in classes. As long as there is a compatible level of maturity, there's not a thing in the world wrong with it. If you are there for the classes you won't be a creepy old guy.

"I go for younger women, lived with several a while, though I ran them away they'd come back one day and still could manage to smile..."

My life plan was to retire wealthy and relatively healthy at the age of 55, marry a 25 year old, and begin my family (since I can't fathom how anyone has time for children unless they are retired). Well... I got married last week at the age of 32. My wife ruined my plan, and I couldn't be more contented.

Plenty of Fish is garbage. I found my wife on OKCupid (and my wife's friend found her husband at the same time on the same site). The matching algorithm is superior to others because it allows your own opinions on any number of things to form the matches, instead of relying on some stuffy old "expert" to apply a simplistic formula. It's free too.

A few years back I met an extraordinary 18 year old girl at junior college; I was 28. I had my reservations about dating her, and even shared them with the girl, but in her naivety she persisted and against my better judgement I gave in. When she went away to the University and broke up with me, it really hurt. I guess my only point is that even though you might feel older, young women are attracted to guys that are fun and represent a source of security, regardless of age.

Getting rejected by someone we love is the worst because we always pine for the one that got away, or the one that we can't quite get. There is nothing I know of that will heal the heart faster, but it's important to know in your mind that genuine and enduring love and companionship meet on the same level, with the same commitment. If a girl leaves, then it is better than having her hang on by a thread while you devote yourself to her.

I commend you on admitting that perhaps you were not the right one. American culture inflates our egos to unhealthy levels by saying we are perfect the way we are, that it's their problem and not a problem with me, and that we deserve the best of everything. The reality is, you only get what you give. Become the man that deserves the woman of your dreams. Perhaps you are, but there is always room for improvement.

And last, as a man, you are likely going to have to make the first confident step in the relationship. If it's meant to be, she will eventually meet you halfway.

Congratulations, Redpoint5!

I need to be fun?! :)

Hey guys, thanks for all of the feedback! I have told friends about Plenty of Fish only because of the sheer numbers and I think that it is decent, but I have to wonder about the "matches" that it provides for me, forty at a time!

So, all of these women are alive? Well, that is a start.

A while ago Zoosk advertised on Facebook, saying that a married friend used it. I asked her about it, but she refused to answer, so I tried to find her profile, and then she told me that when she realized that it was a dating site, she deleted her page. Zoosk sends me a scientific match every day. Really? Based on what data?

The one site that I have actually used with hopes of finding someone, is specifically for people with whom I hopefully have more in common.

It is always recommending 60-80 year-old women.

No...

Funny how the one that I liked the best, I met in person.

Take care, everybody! :)

What's the problem ? :)

A few more years, and ppl will even stop asking :D

I'm currently 45, single and never married-and I can count the number of relationships, long term and otherwise(and including a single 'one-night stand' ending in mutual embarrassed good humor), on the fingers of one hand and still have a thumb. I am alone.

I am not, and will possibly never be, lonely. I have family and friends both male and female, and while I lack what many consider a 'full' social life it is because:

A) I am too busy trying to survive in today's economy and meeting my self-imposed obligations to Church, Family and lifelong friends, and
B) I am a picky and prickly SOB with no tolerance for melodrama.

In my life so far, I have met three women whom I considered worth proposing marriage to:

One was taken from us far too soon to join the Kingdom of Heaven.
One chose the prospect of a high-pace career involving constant nationwide mobility(theater) and I had neither the temperament or talent to follow...I watched her leave with barely a tear, because I do not believe that real love should be selfish.
One was of mixed heritage(I refuse to use the term 'Race' since we were both of the Human Race), and her parents took remarkable exception to my inherited Nordic skin, never mind that my family tree has its share of Lumbee, Creole and Hispanic outliers...long story short, I will never come between a woman and her family (no matter what their idiot reasons) because of personal selfishness.

On the other hand, we have my younger (by one year) sister, who was obsessed with finding Mister Right. By the time she was thirty, she had gone into and out of three marriages and several relationships ranging from 'the chemistry isn't there' to 'i'll call the Sheriff if he ever speaks to me again'...and by the ripe old age of 33 she decided that she was 'giving up' on love.

Four months later she met an outwardly unremarkable man at work, and they struck up a platonic, and then a not-so platonic, relationship...and this year we celebrated their 11th wedding anniversary, :thumbup:

You will find that perfect someone (or not) early in life (or late) and die surrounded by loved ones (or alone)...so what? Live in the moment and make contingencies for the future without stressing too hard over possibilities beyond your control, and enjoy it.

Hey, where'd this Soapbox come from? :eek:

(adds to collection)

Ten more and I can start my new house! :D

Shouldn't you be studying or something? This is the saddest thread I've ever read.

I went through a patch like that when I was about your age and I went to a counselor at the Free Clinic. He ran it down for me and I said "Wait a minute. You're saying that everyone who is in a relationship didn't want/care to be and it was their indifference that opened the door and allowed it to happen?" He said "Precisely".

Now I'm twice you age and in exactly the same position. Let the record show that that counselor was wrong.

Maybe those 19-year-olds have older sisters.

The matching algorithm is excellent. On top of that, most users answer a bunch of questions, so, when you stumble across their profile, you can see where they stand on a lot of issues.

For some I find the wrong answer to a deal breaker, or the right answer to a deal breaker.

Online sites seems to have major advantages. How else are we supposed to meet people? I don't want to meet someone in a bar, my neighborhood is full of college aged girls (NO THANKS) and all of my friends are guys.

With that said, I got out of a 2 year relationship a month ago. It started to go south 4 or 5 months ago and finally ended.

I wasn't looking for a relationship. It juts happened. I think everyone has to be in that mindset. If you *want* it to happen, it either won't or you will end up in a bad situation.

I'm finally getting to do all of those things I wasn't able to. Been playing with the Jeep, going for bike rides, going to the gym, eating healthy, reconnecting with old friends at bars (but never drinking).

If it happens, it happens. If it does not, it does not. I'm only 24. Not sure if I want kids, too young for them.

Lets call a spade a digging tool here - the idea that there is some kind of wonderful matching algorythm is, well, ****e.

That isn't the point.

The point is that when that person you will end up being with forever appears he/she may not share your views.

They will/won't vote as you do.

They will/won't do what you do in your spare time.

They will/won't like your music.

And worse of all - they will/won't think your "hobby" or fixation is "sad".

The real path to happiness is not caring, you compromise. You do so because this person is the one.

Worked example me and Mrs A. We don't share political views (but we debate), we don't share interests. We like to watch movies together but Mrs A likes Richard Curtis rom-coms and I think Mr Curtis should be tortured to death - only joking - and I prefer Sci-fi or thrillers.

But when Mrs A wants to spend time gardening I'm there to do the heavy stuff or move/shift things as required. And when DIY is needed she holds and passes things as needed but she really isn't interested in how or what.

We share key aims - retiring at a certain point or how work should work out and that is a joint aim we both work towards.

Arragonis -- All those stories about successful relationships was just bringing me down. You paint a picture of something that just might work.
As a 'think' what's that called? Weak tea?
There's my problem. When the counselor at the free clinic told me that I missed the "or you will end up in a bad situation" part. I guess I just didn't not un-want enough.
Ya have kids at 15 and start your career at 30. The other way around it gets all tangled up. :)

Weak tea is a crime...

My parents 'had me' when they wete very young. It was hard financially but they were both active throughout my childhood. We (Mrs A and I) had junior when we were older so we have more resources but less time and energy.

Not sure which is better.

My current favorite singer/songwriter is Thao Nguyen. I think this describes a good relationship:Be. Do. To paraphrased the old joke "...and that's the way it went all night—do-be-do-be-do-be-do".

Well if that isn't a set-up for disappointment, I don't know what is, because it ain't gonna, and can't, happen!


What if the Hokey Pokey IS what it's all about?!? :eek: :confused:

Well... it is.

I always picture you as a big guy in overalls with an Ed Roth hat, that likes sock puppets. So I'm going to follow you around with this until you comment on it:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TC5DQGGUkKU

I always imagined a little Asian guy with lots of animals.

If I'd been nicer to Frank Lee, maybe he'd post up all his various Profile pictures—the Ed-Roth-hat guy, the sock puppet, the dog (or something (?)) that preceded the sideways-headed cat.

You can kind of see the theme in the wall-eyed dog in his current signature [subject to change].

I'd like to see a little Asian guy ride these!

http://i146.photobucket.com/albums/r...ncher/2001.jpg

http://i146.photobucket.com/albums/r...to04261208.jpg

http://ecomodder.com/forum/303265-post1.html

That was adequately nice... :)

http://i146.photobucket.com/albums/r...ncher/shep.jpg

http://i146.photobucket.com/albums/r...ey_smiling.jpg

http://i146.photobucket.com/albums/r...nning-Edit.jpg

Oh! Here's one for my Corvair that I've never posted up:

http://i146.photobucket.com/albums/r...w_roth_art.jpg

http://i146.photobucket.com/albums/r...ps7a634794.jpg

http://i146.photobucket.com/albums/r...ps65791b07.jpg

http://i146.photobucket.com/albums/r...ps9d3abbde.jpg

http://i146.photobucket.com/albums/r...psb79fce8a.jpg

http://i146.photobucket.com/albums/r...ps033820f6.jpg

http://i146.photobucket.com/albums/r...pse1ff335b.jpg

In an earlier life...

http://i146.photobucket.com/albums/r...ps1dfe84bd.jpg

That should be about it...

P.S. The "Ed Roth Guy" isn't really me... but that's a lot closer than "a little Asian guy"! Erm... actually the monkey is probably the closest...

P.P.S. I'll need alcohol or some sort of mood-altering substance to properly interpret that sock puppet video for you.

Thanks; I remember most of those, even with a join date 4 yrs later than yours. Wasn't there a sock puppet? I've never changed my Profile pic, if I do it will be this cropped square. Maybe later today, I can always change back.
http://i.imgur.com/Q8zNOwU.jpg
_________

I reduced the video to an MP3 and it's in my regular rotation. Her voice reminds me of Ricki Lee Jones.
_________

I like the diagonal brace on the 2nd bike. It looks like they have about as much legroom as my bike.
http://ecomodder.com/forum/member-fr...9-100-0381.jpg

That train sure has a happy- if somewhat creepy- face. Reminds me of this for some reason:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JKDtUzRIG6I

I couldn't find the sock puppet in my archives. The "May The Best Man Win" t-shirt isn't there either. :/

Your bike could use some streamers coming from the grips!

I never lock my bicycles in this town. I figure there are very few that can ride 'em anyway, but if someone would, I could figure out who it is pretty easily. ;)

wow.. now I'm picturing Yao Ming's brother!

:) Funny you should mention that. If I had leather or inner tube material made like a so-called 'Chinese finger puzzle' left with streamers on the end, I could lean back in the saddle and use them like reins on a horse. I haven't figured out the fabrication.

With the coiled, keyed lock on the handlebar, if I find a horizontal pipe to park against I can have it locked about as fast as I can get off. I lay it over at 45°, throw my leg over and lever myself up into the saddle.
________

I tried to update my profile picture, but it faile as a 48kb 392x392 and a 6kb 100x100. Maybe later.
________

Frankly, I thought Frank Lee was a nome de plume.

http://i146.photobucket.com/albums/r...ps8a6c2a7e.jpg

Frank Lee is not dead yet!

It is nominal plumage. It means I will speak frankly- and oftentimes, it will lack sugar-coating.

You may take that train and I'll go back to puppies.

The thread's been derailed...

Haven't we all, some time :rolleyes:

Well, yeah; but look what we had to work with:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a6EAbH7RGXg

Wouldn't a violin that small be annoyingly high-pitched?