View Single Post
Old 07-07-2009, 06:42 PM   #23 (permalink)
EcoModding Lurker
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Seattle, Wa.
Posts: 29
Thanks: 0
Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts
Hilarious faux "press release"

that someone on the Revenge stock forum came up with...Enjoy!

>>>>>>>>>>>DECATUR, IN -- (Marketwire) -- 07/03/09 -- President/CEO Peter Collorafi of Revenge Designs Inc. (PINKSHEETS: RVGD), a specialty car designer and production assembler, is pleased to announce that Mr. Douglas Pelmear, President/CEO of HP2G LLC,
has developed another major automotive milestone.

When Doug showed the prototype engine to me,it knocked me on my rear,said Peter Collorafi of Revenge Designs.We where excited about the E85 engine,but this technology gets behind some major mileage and power.

Savvy investors may have already guessed the new fuel source is natural gas.Burning human natural gas has been a challenge right from the start,says Doug Pelmear of HP2G.We had leakage/odor issues,storage issues,flashing of flatulence,pressure problems,etc. We were about to give up,when we hit on the design that turned it all around,the supply as you go seal pants.

To make the supply as you go seal pants a reality,we had to borrow from some already existing technology.The first problem solved was the ass to engine feed problem.We are using a double seal O-ring design we borrowed from Morton Thiokol's design used on the NASA space shuttle engines.We figured those guys know how to contain some gas,so we jumped on that one.

The next major breakthough was the use of an integrated guide cone built into the pants.When you sit down on the feed tube located on the seat,the cone automatically guides the tube into the double seal O-ring causing an instant gas tight seal.We got this idea from the refueling planes the US Air Force uses to fuel jets in flight.The idea was so simple,it was hard to believe we had overlooked it before.Some of our test subjects have reported some slight discomfort upon fuel line engagement,but we have found that with only a few days use,one developes an ass callous which makes insertion eventually painless.A small price to pay for huge fuel economy.

We also developed an excess capacity tank under the hood.The tank acts as a buffer between you and the engine.When you are producing excess gas,the overage is stored for future use.No waste of gas here my friend.It also provides fuel when you're production is running dry so to speak.

At this time the driver is the fueling person.We are working on a "multiple tap" system to allow all passengers to participate in fueling the engine,but it is still in design phase.

Mileage and fuel economy are also highly dependent upon the individual and personal diet.We recommend a high starch
diet heavy in beans and broccoli.We have also had great results with bell peppers and soda consumption.We have found that every person knows what foods are producers for them.You may want to seek out that stinky friend of yours,because when this technology hits the market,they will be in high demand.

There are so many future innovations on the drawing board for our technology.A plug for your seal pants so no gas is lost when you're in public.A sulphur scrubber for odorless exhaust fumes.Home use applications.The possibilities are unlimited.

We can hardly wait to get these people going,says Peter Collorafi of Revenge Designs.I can't wait to tell OPEC
to stick it where the sun don't shine,cause that's just what we have done!
  Reply With Quote