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Christ -
Very bad news but you're handling it well. It sounds like you are able to pull out of your context and "observe yourself" as a third party observer. You don't have a choice regarding some of the things that happen to you, but you do have a choice on how you *react* to what happens to you. Very Vulcan of you.
I would try to compare my Dad's situations with what happens to other people. He would say "yes, but it's happening to ME!!!!".
PS - I think Herbie moved out of the way in his own. Cars named Herbie tend to do that, you know.
CarloSW2
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