[Arragonis]

Community in shock as child is told off

Police were called to a house in Shoreham, Kent by concerned neighbours after they overheard a child being blatantly told off by his mother.’The child was happily throwing stones at our greenhouse, showing very good motor skills and an understanding of basic physics,’ explained the concerned neighbours; ‘suddenly his mother came out of the house and suggested that is was ‘a little unfriendly and maybe it was bedtime now.’ You could see the child’s self esteem and chances of a successful future diminishing by the second; it was horrifying.’

When police arrived at the scene they found the child’s mother sobbing on the doorstep muttering ‘what have I done, what have I done.’ The child was meanwhile being looked after by his father who was calming him down with an offer of anything he wanted from the electrical section of the Argos catalogue.

‘She’s never done anything like this before,’ he explained whilst pointing at an MP3 player; ‘it’s been a long day and this will be the fifth time we’ve had to buy a new greenhouse for the Hodgsons, I realise little Tommy needs to practice his throwing but it does get expensive.’

Police child psychotherapist, Ellie Green was appalled by the whole event ‘I thought that we had finally got rid of this kind of thing for good. You could tell from looking at little Tommy that he was torn apart inside by the whole episode, he will have to be given everything he wants for at least the next two years or he will never amount to anything in adulthood. You can’t tell kids that they might not get everything they desire in life and do everything they want all the time, they simply won’t cope.’

Tommy has been able to stay with his family on the understanding that his mother will take a course in parenting and has promised to be doing her son’s washing, cooking and ironing until he is at least thirty five.

‘It’s the least I can do,’ she stated, ‘At least he’ll have more time to learn new life skills on his Xbox. His social aptitude has certainly improved massively since we bought him a headset.’