Daily Smiles

[Arragonis]

Community in shock as child is told off

Police were called to a house in Shoreham, Kent by concerned neighbours after they overheard a child being blatantly told off by his mother.’The child was happily throwing stones at our greenhouse, showing very good motor skills and an understanding of basic physics,’ explained the concerned neighbours; ‘suddenly his mother came out of the house and suggested that is was ‘a little unfriendly and maybe it was bedtime now.’ You could see the child’s self esteem and chances of a successful future diminishing by the second; it was horrifying.’

When police arrived at the scene they found the child’s mother sobbing on the doorstep muttering ‘what have I done, what have I done.’ The child was meanwhile being looked after by his father who was calming him down with an offer of anything he wanted from the electrical section of the Argos catalogue.

‘She’s never done anything like this before,’ he explained whilst pointing at an MP3 player; ‘it’s been a long day and this will be the fifth time we’ve had to buy a new greenhouse for the Hodgsons, I realise little Tommy needs to practice his throwing but it does get expensive.’

Police child psychotherapist, Ellie Green was appalled by the whole event ‘I thought that we had finally got rid of this kind of thing for good. You could tell from looking at little Tommy that he was torn apart inside by the whole episode, he will have to be given everything he wants for at least the next two years or he will never amount to anything in adulthood. You can’t tell kids that they might not get everything they desire in life and do everything they want all the time, they simply won’t cope.’

Tommy has been able to stay with his family on the understanding that his mother will take a course in parenting and has promised to be doing her son’s washing, cooking and ironing until he is at least thirty five.

‘It’s the least I can do,’ she stated, ‘At least he’ll have more time to learn new life skills on his Xbox. His social aptitude has certainly improved massively since we bought him a headset.’

[LUVMY02CREW]

Originally Posted by Arragonis

Community in shock as child is told off

LOL!!!

I went to the home page and got several more good laughes...

[Piwoslaw]

Last weekend's smile: Slyly plugging my block heater to an outside outlet at a cabin we stayed in

[Piwoslaw]

(Click on image for link to thread.)

[Arragonis]

OBD2 Bluetooth connector on a slow boat from China. When it arrives there will be some Android / Torque monitoring japes to be had...

EDIT - second smile. I have a cold so got out the Nurofen I got in Spain.

These are 2x the strength of the ones in the UK and whereas the warning on the UK ones is similar to "if you feel any effects, stop taking them immediately and seek medical help" the spanish roughly translates to "Take as many as you like, if you feel funny maybe lay off the beer for a while".

[Arragonis]

Another smile

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6S-rTfHiGv4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k902ZoQRC-4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jL0WAIJ8yng

Tim Hunkin is a god.

[Piwoslaw]

Smile #1: No rubberneckers on today's drive. Or have I stopped noticing?

Smile #2: Missing out on a political discussion. I don't even know where this one is:

Originally Posted by dcb

"$#@%!@# retarded political discussions on EM. Where is the hourly annoyances thread?

[Angmaar]

Pumping up the tires and being rewarded with a 40MPG+ commute is always nice.

[Arragonis]

The idea of a Pedestrian Proficiency Test

- Minimum Speed, 3 MPH
- Standing to one side on escalators
- Avoiding sudden changes of direction and stopping

[Piwoslaw]

Originally Posted by Arragonis

The idea of a Pedestrian Proficiency Test

- Minimum Speed, 3 MPH
- Standing to one side on escalators
- Avoiding sudden changes of direction and stopping

+1
Pedestrians should be required to have a permit and obey certains laws! Always stepping onto bike roads, they are...