[Thymeclock]

Originally Posted by drmiller100

More Irony.

Ok. I'll spell it out.

You are not following your own advice. You are trying to pick an argument with someone who doesn't really want an argument with you.

The advice (actually I don't mind it being called criticism) was given, and he decided to argue with it: his denial and defensiveness are cited and are a matter of record. Some people can't take criticism, and thus cannot learn anything different. Some can even be incited towards retribution. That's how wars begin.

But you are arguing the OP was trying to pick an argument with someone who didn't want to argue.

Do you understand now? Are you understanding any of this?

Your addition of "Are you understanding any of this?" was unnecessary (AKA "talking down") and is also a form of escalation.

Yes, I do understand. But here's what you fail to acknowledge: offering criticism and advice does not create an argument. The defensive and increasingly hostile response to it creates the argument. It takes two to argue. He posted details of an incident to this thread which, on a discussion list in effect invites comments. Did he or anyone else here actually expect that there wouldn't be (or shouldn't be) any comments that are critical in any way? Is that realistic?

I understand you are trying to help, but the OP doesn't want your help. He does not want your advice.

That is correct and it is obvious.

You offered your advice, and he told you thanks, but don't bother any more.

That is not true. He neither told me thanks, nor did he tell me don't bother. Nor does he have the power to silence anyone with whom he disagrees. Instead he became sarcastic, escalating the interaction, just as he did with the traffic incident.

Yet you persist.

I persist in pointing out that escalation generates argument and conflict. THAT is actually what this entire thread is about. (However now we have descended to arguing about arguing.)

The OP is a really nice guy, who offers some great insights. If people like you persist, the OP might quit posting. Which would be a bad thing.

I know that too. We have been in agreement many times in the past and I actually respect him, but his current, relentless defensive posturing and sarcasm is disappointing.

I cannot cause him to quit posting altogether as you are suggesting. If he were to do so it would be entirely his choice. To the contrary, we are not seeing any cease and desist here. Instead we are seeing more long, rambling posts arguing in his defense.

If you doubt that any of the above is true just read his latest screed which is replete with sarcasm, insulting comments and innuendo. That's what people do when they are nursing a bruised ego and that's all he's got left to offer.