Quote:
Originally Posted by t vago
|
This video of a magnetized cat is very, very uncanny. Let me tell you why. Last fall I was looking for valve stem core rebuild kits because I check my tire pressure so much I wore them out. During my search I came across an advertisement for hypercharged magnets that you tape to your forehead to achieve a tenfold increase in mental concentration. They were guaranteed to work or your money cheerfully returned and, get this, only $19.95 plus $4.95 shipping and handling. Well, I'm lacking pretty seriously in this department so I was all like, yeah I'm in.
A minor problem was I didn't have the money and had to take a part time job to save up for the hypercharged magnets. With the rotten economy, all I could find was a job dancing at the local ladies club on senior citizens night. I took the stage name of Johnny Narwhal to protect my identity. It took a couple of weeks for me to learn how to work the crowd, but then the money started rolling in. The tips were mostly nickles and quarters and on social security check week it always looked like I dropped a dookie in my speedo when I left the stage. After three short months I had finally earned enough coin to buy the hypercharged tenfold concentration enhancing magnets so I bid the old gals adieu and placed my order.
The second day I had my hypercharged super concentration magnets, I was concentrating on levitating a four slice toaster using only my magnetically hypercharged mind when I realized I was late for work. To expedite my departure, I took a quick shower with my clothes on and then hopped into the clothes dryer for a quick spin dry. Now this is where things start getting weird. When the dryer stopped and I hopped out,
I was walking exactly like that cat AND the magnets were still taped to my forehead!! I tried it again three more times to make sure it wasn't an anomaly and the results were always the same.
This exciting new use for magnets doesn't just warrant further scientific inquiry, it demands it!