Thanks for the tips Kenny
I too disliked the idea of hitching off one of the rear stays but now that ive tried this way i know why they do it like that...
The only problem is my wheels have those quick release clamp on axles so i cant use the axle and nut to hold on the hitch very easily
My main idea to try next is a set of rear stays from a junk bike cut up and mounted backwards with the hitch where the seat tube normally would join on, Then i will brace it either with an old school round steel mudguard or up to the rear carrier so it doesnt move up or down, similar to how most big harley bike trailers are hitched and the same as car hitches (in the middle of the bike at or below axle line)