"Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.”
"A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff."
"If it’s true that our species is alone in the universe, then I’d have to say that the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little."
The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, “You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I’m just not close enough to get the job done.”
― George Carlin
101 Greatest George Carlin Quotes