No help if it doesn't have a new home.
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I don't want to blow it up or drive it off a bridge either.
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You're no fun. One of the magazines, prolly Road&Track or Car and Driver, did a story where they took some American sedan and recursively stripped and tested it for 1/4th mile time. They started with the bumpers and doors and moved on to the roof and wheelwells. Basically part it out, but see how long you can keep it running.
It's front wheel drive, you could make a tail-dragger.