My commute is about 27 miles each way, but the wife has the car during the day and runs work errands in it. At least one offsite meeting every week, sales runs etc.
Morning: two miles of surface streets at suburban-45 mph speeds. Defrost on FULL because E Tennessee is humid. Then about 15 miles of interstate at up to 70, some long hills, some slowdowns. Then about 7 miles surface streets where carpoolers are dropped off (son and me), then wife takes it another three miles to her office.
Evening is reversed but more traffic and sometimes stopping for groceries.
Sometimes I choose slower routes that put the car deeper into its butter zone but it's false economy, the longer distances of those eat up any savings and then some.
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Lead or follow. Either is fine.
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