Quote:
Originally Posted by redpoint5
I don't know if you share a lot of personal stuff just to be heard, but there's a lot of engineering minded type folks on this forum, and if you don't want people analysing the stuff you share and presenting potential solutions, you're going to have to say that. What you won't get is people chalking every negative thing up to bad luck. Even if that was true, it wouldn't be useful. Those who are actual victims of circumstance aren't made better by identifying as a victim.
My sense is that identity as victim or conqueror is mostly hardwired into personality. Maybe a better description would be those who view their lives more as something that is largely passively observed, or those who see most situations as something largely within their control. Being over optimistic about what is within your control generally carries fewer negative consequences as being under optimistic.
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Only very tangentially related, but I struggled for quite a while with a bad relationship, one abusive parent who had strings attached to me, one parent I liked very much who was seriously ill and required both financial and physical support, and living in an area with low wages.
In a very dark way, I was very fortunate to go through a divorce, to estrange one parent, to have the other die, and to have no more reason to stay in an area where I had little opportunity. There's something to be said for losing nearly everything one cares about.