[redpoint5]

I know that Xist cares about his family relationship, and I make no judgement about that. However, that comes at a cost to opportunity for personal advancement. It's perfectly reasonable to say one is happy with that trade-off, and that the stories shared are merely a way of socializing and not soliciting advice.

My parents have been taking care of my grandparents (now grandparent) for a decade or so. They will do things like pass on vacation because they don't know how to solve the problem of getting the Tuesday Sharis meal to them, or that would require bumping the Wednesday trip to the grocery store to Thursday. My parents aren't compensated at all (and I'm not saying they should be). They've passed on too much opportunity to experience their own life for the sake of not disrupting the routine of my grandparents though. BTW, my grandparents are very well off, so absolutely any need could simply be paid for.

Peterson said something that seems to be true. With children and the elderly, you don't do anything for them that they can do for themselves. What may be motivated by love simply generates dependency and a decline in ability.

Personally, I love being a spotter when someone is trying as hard as they can to lift their weight. They've taken on the largest load they can conceive, and I'm there for that last bit if they fall short. There's no use spotting someone who isn't lifting though.

EDIT: I'll add that the friend I described above is much loved by me despite our differing values and outlook on life. The thing we share in common is the confidence that we both intend well for others.