The state has a responsibility to maintain a monopoly on the use of force (AKA keep the peace. Lookin' at you Lori Lightweight). That and enforce contracts and guard the borders.
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If that's a political position for you, then you have my condolences.
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One finds humor where one can. Anything other than 'black' can get you killed. That needs a little push-back.
Not saying I have one, but I'm partial to the Bond Arms double derringer in .410.