I actually thought of that! (Or drilling a new hole.) But I didn't do it because I was concerned about leaving a burr on the inside that I wouldn't be able to easily remove. Since I couldn't get the wheel off, I could only break the outside bead, which meant I couldn't move the tire enough out of the way for easy access to the inside of the wheel.
I
could get a 3x more expensive tube with a bendy valve in the correct position, but I'd have to order it, and I'm getting (more) lazy and impatient!
Today...
First oil change ever (probably), and a new sparky!