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Ford Man 06-21-2017 01:33 AM

Prayer Request
 
I haven't been on the forum for a long time but I need help.

I'm requesting that anyone of faith and trust in God to pray for my family. My wife walked out 1 week ago without letting me know she was leaving or giving any explanation of where she was going or why. We've had troubles in the past but the last 3 years had been the best 3 years of our marriage. She won't talk to me and friends have tried to get her to talk to them but nothing seems to be working. She needs a touch from God to soften her heart about whatever the problem is so we can begin talking and trying to work out whatever the problem is and can get our family back together. Thanks in advance for all your prayers. I know God can and will answer prayer if we pray hard enough and have faith. We've been married for 27 years and just when it was the best it's ever been she leaves.

California98Civic 06-21-2017 03:11 AM

My hopes are with you and your family resolving this issue. Be encouraged that from the outside it looks like you and family and friends have communication good enough to bring the issue out into the light for a resolution. I don't pray in the way your are requesting, so I cannot do that, but my best wishes and what encouragement I can offer--almost a complete stranger--are with you and yours. Your patience and openness and friends and family are probably the best tools and pathways through with a solution will emerge.

ECO-AKJ 06-21-2017 05:02 PM

Hmm, Doax, I may need you to change my name again to ECO-AKJ, I didn't realize there was already a Ford Man

ECO-AKJ 06-21-2017 05:03 PM

"Ford Man", I can't imagine what you are going through, but you are in my prayer

Ford Man 06-21-2017 11:28 PM

Thanks everyone for the support and prayers. Don't just make praying about this a one time thing. I ask that every time you pray or you think about my situation you will take the time to say a few word to God on behalf of my family. It's rough, but with lots of praying to God for strength and asking him not only help my wife change, but also things I need to change in order to get us back on track and make our marriage more successful. I also welcome you telling friends and family about my circumstances and asking them to pray for us too.

freebeard 06-22-2017 12:27 AM

I really hate being 'that guy' but... Prayer is a way to think you are helping without having to do anything.

Here is your power of prayer: The Global Consciousness Project. The [un]conciousness of millions can move a needle on a random number generator. You are asking a small number of people to influence a chain of events to steer it in your direction. Ecomodder doesn't have the reach, try... (I can't believe I'm saying this) try Facespook.

If it were terminal illness you might get more sympathy. When it happened to me (three years total) I went in and sat on the bed and lit a joint and listened to Freddy Fender sing "Wasted Days and Wasted Nights".

Here's my best suggestion: as I used to tell my son "Nobody else can make you happy, only you can make you happy." If you look for validation, they will stab you in the back every time (I know, I know...). Look inside yourself 'cause that's where Jesus is. Maybe you can find something in Jordan Peterson

https://www.youtube.com/user/JordanPetersonVideos

Playlists
  • The Psychological Significance of the Biblical Stories
  • 2017-14 Personality and its Transformations
  • 2015 Maps of Meaning (University of Toronto)
  • Popular uploads
  • Psychology and Religion: 13 30-min lectures: TVO's Maps of Meaning

Edit:
Here's a 20-minute excerpt:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9VM1UA0pCMQ

SH@UN 06-22-2017 01:52 AM

Maybe it's time to worry about yourself and just move on. You can spend the rest of your life trying to make someone else happy, but if doing so makes you miserable in the process, then it's a pointless venture. Any spouse who just walks out for no reason, isn't much of a person to begin with. Sorry bud, just trying to maybe help you open your eyes a bit so you can plan for a better future.

Daox 06-22-2017 09:13 AM

I'm very sorry to hear that Ford Man. You and your wife will absolutely be in my prayers. I had something very similar happen to myself about 5 years ago. I knew we had issues, but I thought we were working on them and that things were even going quite well. Then one night she said she was leaving. It was crushing. So, I can definitely relate.

If I can give any advise it is to take this time to focus on your relationship with God. You can only change yourself, you can't make her change. But, you can make her want what you have. If you're a reader, "Keep Your Love On" by Danny Silk is an amazing book that teaches you how to love, even when you don't feel like it.

Ford Man 06-22-2017 02:56 PM

Thanks for the prayers, my wife finally called me today and we spent a good while on the phone with one another discussing things that were bothering her that I wasn't aware of. She's not committed to coming back yet but I think now if I'll leave her a little bit of space and time to think everything will be worked out. Just because I say these things don't stop praying, lift our problems up to the Lord every chance you get. Anyone who says prayer doesn't work doesn't know the God that I know.

Beau 06-22-2017 03:35 PM

Ford Man - I just said a prayer for God's healing.

I was in a somewhat similar situation several years ago. After a lot of mysterious back and forth and secretive/strange behavior on her part, it turned out my then-wife was having an affair. She was the Director of Contemporary Praise Music at our Church and the Choir Director was her affair partner. This was her 2nd affair. I felt like a fool, because some of the behavior of her first affair was repeated, and I didn't see it (maybe because I didn't want to).

After the first affair, I gave her a leap of faith. I decided to trust her again, regardless. And everyone (me and my children -- everyone except my then-wife) did all the things needed to heal. And then she did it a second time several years later. After the 2nd time - I filed for divorce. I had Biblical grounds to divorce her (and even to remarry) after the 1st affair, but I did not want another man raising my three children.

After the second time, I was done.

That may not be what you want to hear. However, my experience tells me that women rarely just up and leave. From what I have read, women (unlike men) develop a secret escape plan and then wait until a later time implement it, once they have put all the pieces in place. That may not apply here, I don't know.

In my case, I found something she'd written to her affair partner. They had actually planned to make it look as if they each "decided they couldn't take it any longer, and had to leave - and just happened to run into one another's arms and fall in love". Seriously. The mind of the narcissist is all about how things are going to make them look.

Here is all you can do: Be the best and Godliest man you can be. Given each choice you have to make, always choose the best one (realizing there is a huge difference between being nice and being good). So, always choose good; the one that edifies God. More times than not, this means intentionally doing (or not doing) something other than what "feels right" or seems justified. Trusting your emotions and feelings is very frequently a mistake. Go with what you know to be true.

Here is what you cannot do: You cannot control or manipulate the situation. Because God gave us free will, we cannot control the actions of others.

I would also like to offer that prayers can be answered in ways we do not expect. Mine were answered in ways that I could not imagine, and I am all the better for it.

I am sorry for what you are going through. I hope my comments above don't seem unfair or too doomsday-like, that is not my intention.


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