World's funniest joke--according to science!

[Xist]

If you want the details, they are here: World's funniest joke - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

The winning joke[...]:

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"

The second place finisher[...]:

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: "Watson, look up at the sky, and tell me what you see." Watson replied: "I see millions and millions of stars." Holmes said: "And what do you deduce from that?" Watson replied: "Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like Earth out there. And if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life." And Holmes said: "Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent."

While this was the top joke in the UK:

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

So, after many distractions, like running, scrubbing the kitchen floor, and trying to set up my computer for school, I decided to google "funniest joke ever," resulting in a list of fifty on the New York Post.

Then I found these.

Okay, homework, I swear!

[Arragonis]

Google "tim vine" and sit back.

[Xist]

Originally Posted by Arragonis

Google "tim vine" and sit back.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VPaZfeAYUyk

Tim Vine Live At The Apollo - YouTube

I think that I would appreciate him more if I spoke British, but he was pretty clever.

I once had a gentleman from Britain tell me of some comedic duo that were so funny that some clip of them going to get breakfast had other comedians rolling in the aisles. He told me their names, I guessed on the spelling, and it was not nearly British enough.

Something like Marcombe and Wyse.

[Arragonis]

Morecambe and Wise - Breakfast

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=20mXXJz0Arc

And Andre Previn - they were very big in the 70s and 80s so had top guests perform. Previn learned the sketch in 30 mins in the taxi to the studio aparently.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JQNYUJIW4sw

Also very good, "Four candles..."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gi_6SaqVQSw

[Xist]

Thanks! I hoped that you would understand my American!

I will watch these after I actually accomplish something...

[Piwoslaw]

Why does this thread's title remind me of a Monty Python sketch?

[gone-ot]

Originally Posted by Piwoslaw

Why does this thread's title remind me of a Monty Python sketch?

Lookup "subliminal influences" (ha,ha)

[Arragonis]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7WJXHY2OXGE

[Xist]

Originally Posted by Piwoslaw

Why does this thread's title remind me of a Monty Python sketch?

The top of the Wikipedia page says:

This article is about research on the relative humour in different jokes and cultures. For the Monty Python sketch about jokes as military weapons, see The Funniest Joke in the World - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

[Xist]

Honestly, my favorite part was when he said "The three of us must never know that what we are doing is funny."