My new ride:
It's a 2010 Kymco Agility 125 scooter. Top speed so far has been 60 mph indicated (probably about 53 mph actual.) My commute has changed to 15 miles one-way through town (mostly 40-45 mph streets), so I sold the Clunker on Craigslist and went smaller. The cost? $900 with 2,250 km on the clock.
I'm looking forward to starting a fuel log and seeing what I can do to boost the mileage even farther. (Already, I've found that once warm, it will restart with just a bump of the starter, so I've been shutting it off at stoplights.)