I think the blanket dismissal of hybrids is a bit much.
I'd be looking for a 2004+ Prius. They're as bullet-proof reliable as you can get from Toyota. TDI diesels must have an equal "premium" over a plain gas car as a hybrid does.
Stay away from the boxy/cube-y trendy vehicles. You have to drive them quite slowly to get excellent highway mileage from them. And I doubt your wife will be happy to hear that the "solution" to their mediocre highway mileage is an aerodynamic boat tail.